Hug, kiss, or just a wave? How to say "hello" in France

In San Francisco, we are the masters of the hug. It’s warm, it's friendly, and you know exactly where your arms go. But in France, greetings can be a bit of a challenge: do we hug? Do we just wave? Or do we have to touch our cheeks? And if so... how many times?

Welcome to the world of “la bise.” Here is your guide to navigating it like a pro.

Rule #1: It’s not a "real" kiss

First thing to know: your lips should never touch the other person’s skin. It’s a delicate cheek-to-cheek contact accompanied by a small "kissing" sound in the air (mouah!). Think of it as a rhythmic dance of the cheekbones.

How many times? (the great mystery)

This is where even the French get confused!

- In the South (like Montpellier or Nîmes), it’s often three.

- In Paris, it’s usually two (one on each side).

-In some parts of the North or East, it can even go up to four!

Stay calm and let the French person lead. If they lean back in for a third one, just follow the flow!

Who gets a "bise"?

You can “faire la bise” to your family, your friends, and sometimes your colleagues if the office vibe is casual. Since the pandemic, it has become much rarer to do it with strangers or in formal business settings. In those cases, a simple "bonjour" and a smile (or a handshake) is perfect.

The "awkward near-miss"

Don't worry – the "near-miss" happens to the best of us! You go left, they go right, and suddenly you’re nose-to-nose. If it happens, just laugh it off! A quick "oups, désolé !" is a great way to break the ice and start a conversation.

Good luck, and... la bise !